Yesterday Our Ken had not one but two dental appointments with the dental surgeon (who is one of the nicest guys on the planet). Our dentist (who we idolize) recommends him exclusively for implants and works closely with him. That meant two trips in and out of the city at rush hour. For two people who did these trips every day of their lives for decades, you should have heard the moaning! It was as if we had never before seen traffic, had never before heard of an inconveniencing fender bender and had never had to navigate parking challenges. I shake my head at Our Ken frequently but yesterday I was shaking my head at me - a Vet would have been checking me for ear mites!
In the process of all of that excitement, a trip to Costco in advance of the advancing extreme cold seemed wise. So while Our Best Boy recovered in the car (weakly calling out for ice cream on my return) in I went. Now, there is one indubitable fact of life and that is that it is far easier to navigate Costco without the added appendage of a husband. That doesn't mean there is less pocketbook damage but time is on your side and odd things don't appear at the checkout. On the downside, you have to lift that darned birdseed bag yourself.
It was an odd day at Costco. There was convenient parking but to access it, you had to set aside all correct driving skills you ever learned, set your teeth and hope for the best. It appeared yesterday that I was shopping among my British friends since every lane of traffic had someone driving happily - on the wrong side of the road - every, single. lane. And if you were silly enough to not hit the gas with alacrity as you backed out of your space, the large Escalade turning in to your lane from the road simply drove around your moving car on that wrong side- worked for him!
Then we have the interior adventures. There were a LOT of men with children. That has become more of a 'thing' and is patently obvious in Costco. Many had tiny little people, generally planted in the carts (sometimes even in that little child area that we know is reserved for cantaloupe and eggs - where do they put their cantaloupe and eggs, one has to wonder). Some had multiple little people - sometimes both planted in that special area with no hope for eggs or cantaloupe so no hope for those chaps. Two of my favourites - the well dressed guy with multiples in the special area of the cart who spent an inordinate amount of time collecting 'stuff' from the floor that the two little characters were pitching as fast as he could retrieve. They had him so well trained that is membership in the Labrador Club is assured. The little ones could twist, grab and fling in one smooth and practiced manoeuver that would have impressed Pedro Martinez . That Mom at work is no fool! Then there was the baby (likely about 8 or 9 months old) trolling for women. While his Dad contemplated packages of salmon, this little cutie dressed in something approximating a Carhart onesie gave me a huge smile. When I smiled back, he offered up an 8 month old wave - kind of an open handed swipe that fascinated both of us. While he gazed in amazement at the feats that body part at the end of his arm could perform, I started to laugh - so he started to laugh. I laughed harder - because there is nothing better than a baby laughing at you - and he laughed harder. Just before both of us gave in to hysterics - his Dad turned around. He looked at me, looked at his baby, looked back at me, turned back to the salmon and said to the neat rows of filleted fish "He got another one".
Then there were the blueberries - as I reached for a container, my arm retracted on its own. We are the blueberry capital of the world here in Nova Scotia. We are as well known for blueberries as we are for our scallops and lobster. I grew up with blueberries and hav eaten my fair share. This was the first time I have looked at a package and then looked up at the sign to see what these blueberry imposters were called. But there it was - blueberries $7.99. In the usual large, clear clamshell were, apparently, the largest blueberries ever seen by the human eye. They were from elsewhere. As I contemplated something, but certainly not putting them in my cart, another savvy shopper commented - you could only put one on your cereal and then what would you do? We both then gave that some thought - I offered that a knife and fork might work; she proffered that the whole process could be dreadfully messy. Regretfully, we both cast a glance at the amazing balls of blue fruitiness and moved on to the organic, normal, blueberries.
In that same area, my progress was slowed by a couple with interesting shopping protocols. He pushed an empty cart. She picked up every bag of potatoes (there are a lot of potatoes at Costco), gave it her full consideration and returned it to its designated spot before repeating the process. At some points, she backed up to heft that same bag a second time. Now, her consideration didn't seem deep nor did she seem to find any bags wanting, she just moved from one to the next like someone performing a ritualistic potato dance. This couple was not young (and I wasn't getting any younger waiting to get to a bag that I could simply put in my cart) but the torture was real. In the end, she decided to forego potatoes and move on to onions where the same game continued - thank goodness onions were not on my list. I did give passing thought to the fact that we didn't have a lot of onions in the pantry but got past that as I watched the beginning of the red onion lift.
My cart was filling nicely but I was being urged to greater heights by many - 'You have to try these cinnamon rolls - they are incredible' from one thin young thing - in the cart they went. 'Did you see that there is $15 off of these?!' - and in went the prime rib steaks (more on that later). 'They haven't had that flour in, like, forever' and the cart was rearranged to accommodate the flour. My name is Lee and I am suggestible . . .
Then there was the yogourt. I went in specifically for the yogourt. Our Ken likes one, and only one, brand. He doesn't even like that brand from the grocery store. It is almost always in stock so he may not be alone in his connoisseur-ship but the fact was that we were out, he has tooth challenges and yogourt is a great go to. Yes - there it was in the cold case. I am not height challenged. There is little that is beyond me but the yogourt did me in. Some bright light (perhaps a competitor) had filled it to the very top of the top shelf, jamming it in to making sure shoppers could admire the pretty box but would be completely unable to get to it (think boxes within boxes stacked to the ceiling). Then the lightbulb came on. There stood three Costco bright looking chaps discussing something deeply meaningful and business-oriented. One mistakenly had his halyard on and, even from a distance, Brian was legible. Brian is tall, I thought. Brian works here and has two friends who can assist if needed. He had just turned to walk away (his friends had not but they weren't as tall nor did I know their names) so I sweetly trilled - Brian. He paused but kept walking. Upping my game, the sweetness got scaled down and Brian came out with a bit more force. He stopped and looked up (for God knows what), then turned like a lighthouse but because he is tall he was looking over everyone's head. One more Brian and a hand signal got him where I needed him - focused on me and that yogourt case. By then, his two friends were all in and enjoying the show. He was planted but at least looking at me so I persevered - Could you give me a hand with this yogourt? His buddies were then like those kids toys with heads on springs going from Brian to me. Slowly, he walked over, looked up (even our tall Brian had to look up), muttered something about who would have done that and lifted the box down. That was that - until I got to the check out. There was Brian and one of the two fellows. I almost went to a longer line just to give him a break but thought better of it. His friend took one look and said "Not you again". At least I am memorable.
And speaking of the check out, while the store was busy, most check outs were opened and lines weren't long. I queued behind a chap and the woman behind me went to the next one (remember, I had the full cart thanks to my new friends urging me on to greater heights). She had a baby (it may have been rent-a-baby day) so was juggling to get her cart at the proper angle when a woman about my age swung her cart in front of this young woman, effectively pushing her out of the way. It was beyond rude and totally unnecessary. The young woman was so surprised that she returned to come behind me - I tried to encourage her to go in front of me but she was by then just wanting to regroup and not make a fuss. The older woman knew exactly what she had done and would not look right or left, secure in knowledge that several of us had seen what she did. Had it not been for the feelings of the young mother, there would have been more said. There is not a reason in the world be consciously be hurtful. It is important to be present as much as is possible as we go about our daily lives and take into consideration our actions. Enough of that.
Then there was the ice cream. I ordered on their little screen and tap system. I failed. I ordered again and it liked me better the second time. Imagine my surprise, then, after feeling so impressed that I beat the odds and got Our Ken his ice cream - right flavour and in a cup - when I got a second one!! Yes, somehow I managed to order two and the young man filling the very, very large cups was extra generous. We had enough ice cream for 10 people.
The little Kona was filled, Our Ken was topped up with ice cream, we headed home, unloaded and went back in to his second appointment. Oh, and there was the little incident - remember those lovely prime rib steaks? The Airedales were let out. Our Ken was unloading. Zoe likes meat.
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